Your Mouth is Worn Out, Your Ears are New

Have you ever wondered why of all the ways we can communicate that listening, in my opinion, is the most important? 

Listening is one of the most difficult competencies, because it asks we take our own thoughts and hold them to the light of our own scrutiny. Listening involves hearing, then understanding and communicating that understanding back to the person you are listening to.  Listening is not focusing on your own thoughts, ideas, beliefs and expectations. For a leader this can be near impossible, because our thoughts, expectations and ideas form the basis for our success and strengthens this behavior through which it  our success has been created. 

Effective leaders are GOOD listeners.  Think back -  what highly effective leader have you known  who is a poor listener? When was the last time you complained about a superior because he/she was a good listener? 

Funny thing, but most people do not go to a leader to be heard; in fact, they look to their leader to talk to them. Most people would prefer not to talk when their leader is near; they want to listen to what their leader has to say. So what you observe is leaders evolving into talkers the longer they are leaders.   It is, therefore, important for a leader to be able to listen and ask questions, preferably in the reverse order, because asking questions will start the other party talking, after which you can start listening.

So what can you do to become a better listener? Here are a few basics and a game to play.  First the basics:

1.       Ask questions. In addition, ask questions in response to questions.  Why?  It makes people feel as though they count.

2.       DO NOT interrupt while your question is being answered.  Sit back and fight the urge.  Understand the answer before you move forward.

3.       DO NOT even think about your next question while listening; the instant you do so is the moment you stop listening.

4.       Solicit feedback and take action on the feedback.  Solicit opinions and discuss them. Taking action means you listened. 

5.       Focus intently – listen more, talk less. 

6.       Maintain eye contact. 

Lastly, the Questioning Game.  The rules are quite simple.  Your job in any conversation you choose is to only ask questions in response to what the person who is talking said to you.  In addition, the question has to be directly related to what they just said to you.  You cannot change the subject; if you need to make a comment, make it but add a question to the end of the comment (a tag question as we call it).  The tag question can be as simple as “Do you agree?”  The point here is staying in the moment and focusing intently on the person with whom you are engaged (the “critical” word here) in conversation. 

Leadership is almost entirely a communication activity. Naturally, effective leaders communicate clearly, in a timely fashion, keep employees informed and listen empathically. Effective leaders “walk the talk” by taking actions that are consistent over time and with what they say. In addition, clear focus and direction with the ability to communicate clearly is the “hallmark” of effective leadership. 

There is a relationship between effective leadership and effective listening skills.  Effective leaders hear what others have to say and empathize with their issues.  Actively listening to and empathizing with what people have to say are two of the important qualities of effective leaders.  True leaders know how to listen. They possess crucial qualities that promote positive work relations, inspire trust, and bolster the “bottom line.” Effective leaders recognize people have a need to be heard. Empathy is as valued as the willingness to listen.

Finally, the need for listening skills is to assure alignment has been reached.  Question, rephrase, question and confirm.  Without using the listening skills discussed here people will assume they have reached alignment and agreement but, in reality, have agreed on different issues resulting in the breakdown of intention and outcome.

Communication is not just speaking and writing clearly.  It’s about open and focused listening, too.

Bill Donnelly is a Managing Partner and Founder of Bac2Profit, LLC.  In addition, he is a certified Executive Coach and Master Mentor.  Working with companies that are underperforming and financially distressed he provides a parallel path to profitability and behavior modification to sustain the company into the future.  If you and your company are underperforming, call Bill at 732 - 979-4459 to set up a no cost, no obligation meeting to discuss your situation.

I do not watch much TV, aside from  some sporting events.  I do, however, have a love of cooking. So watching a few cooking shows from time to time helps me be a better cook.  This is where Gordon Ramsey enters the picture.  Gordon Ramsey is a world renowned chef and restaurateur.  He owns over 15 restaurants around the world, all are Michelin rated (high honors).   In addition, his TV credits include his highly successful Hell’s Kitchen, The F Word (BBC), Masterchef, Ramsey’s Best Restaurants and my favorite, Kitchen Nightmares.

Why Kitchen Nightmares?  Simple, if you want to see a turnaround in action, watch this show.  Gordon goes into a restaurant to help save it and turn it around.  The things you see are the things needing to be fixed.  Call it reality or call it scripted but it is a script for a turnaround.  Let me tell you why.

First, and foremost, the only goal is to make money.   Making money insures the future of the restaurant.  Once everyone understands the goal he takes the restaurant, its owner and employees through the same checklist every time, as follows:

1.       Product – taste and quality?

2.       Customer Service – high touch?

3.       Culture – empowered employees?

4.       Cost structure – too high, too much waste, too many menu items?

5.       Create a plan – change the menu, people, décor?

6.       Execute the plan – to perfection

7.       Review the goal and repeat 1 to 6 constantly

What does he produce?  He produces success which is the result of the goal and the execution of the plan.  How does he produce the success?  He produces success through:

1.       Outstanding product

2.       Superior service

3.       Better culture, improved relationships

4.       Quality at the highest levels at the lowest cost.

Agree or disagree with his tactics (yelling, pushing people to their limits) but his ability to create change and effect the turnaround far outweigh his failures.  Remember, not every turnaround is sustainable.  Unless owners and managers are committed to the change it will fail.  The failure is typically not in the process, the failure is owners and managers inability to make the necessary changes in their behavior, leadership and decision making to sustain the turnaround. 

So what do you need to turnaround then sustain a business?  Simple:

1.       Focus – like a laser beam.

2.       Interpersonal Skills – empower and motivate.

3.       Training – changing how you do things is critical to your success.

4.       Hunger - to succeed.

5.       Perseverance - practice until improvement is found.

6.       Social consciousness – being part of the community you are in.

7.       Ability to develop culture – it will take all your skills to change it.

Turnarounds, the lessons they teach and their sustainability are all about attention to detail and a plan for the future.  Without both, close the doors.

I challenge you to watch Kitchen Nightmares with a new sense of what is happening on the show.  I challenge you to look at your business the way he does a restaurant.  Are you in need of a turnaround?  Follow the roadmap I have laid out and your business will be successful and sustainable.

Gordon Ramsey and I have a few  things in common – a passion to make money, empowering people to make a difference, creating customers that can't wait to do business with us and having fun doing what we love doing.  We work hard and have a passion to help others be successful and reach their goals.  For that I believe he is an expert.

If after you take my challenge and you think your company needs help, contact me at billdonnelly@bac2profit.com for a no charge consultation. 

I Can’t Hear You, It’s Dark in Here

Working with companies, owners and executives who are in distress forces me to be creative in the ways to get them to take action.  Sometimes it’s easy – layout the plan, create the steps for the turnaround and execute.  Sometimes it’s not so easy – as this true story goes:

My client, a solo entrepreneur, is in the business of helping companies save money thru his relationships with key suppliers.  He makes money only when they save money (shared savings model).

Business has been slow because his sales funnel is at or near empty.  He gets his leads thru referrals, networking and cold calling.  Referrals are slow to come, his networking has not been fruitful (he’s in the wrong groups) and he HATES to cold call.  He thinks cold calling is akin to the door to door salesman (the traveling medicine show of the west) and he would rather not make the call than be known as a salesman (Hmmmmm… think hurdle!)

I call to follow up on our last coaching session to find out how he’s doing.  He says fine but he has “hired” someone to make the calls, has not made a call in the last 10 days and has near nothing in the sales funnel.  As nice as I could I told him this (as close to verbatim as possible)”get your head out of you’re a**, do you think your s*** doesn’t stink? Stop assuming the prospect on the other side thinks you’re a salesman, get an appointment!”

After a brief pause he says, “I have the visual, I got it.”  I let it go, told him to make 20 cold calls and report back to me via email.  He reported the next day, 20 cold calls, 2 appointments.  I wrote back, “How does that make you feel?  Pretty good?  Congrats.” 

He wrote back, “I can’t hear you, it’s dark in here.  Thanks.”

He finally got it!  Getting your head out to see the light can begin to show results.   We’ll see if he now follows through.

Do you have your head somewhere where you can’t see the obivious?